So... Things are messy right now but I've been ok. I've stayed pretty steady.. my friends have been falling apart and I've been trying to help them the best I can. However today I'm having a hard time..
Here's whats on my mind... I feel like a mute... and even when I do say something no one listens..
It's like they already expected what my response would be and they already summed up what they were going to say to my "response" so they say it and then it makes no sense to what I was saying..
Am I crazy?
Is this unreasonable?
I'm starting to notice it other places then just home.. but it's especially at home.. and I can't stay this or I will get yelled at for thinking this.. I just feel like i'm continually shut down.. or ignored, and if I do get a chance to actually have a conversation it never goes well.
Trapped.
Considering going back to my mute status...
but I know if I do that..
I'm gonna go back to other things too...
Things I shouldn't..
UGH!
I feel like i'm back at 12 years old. Where fairytales, stories, and dreams are all I have to cling on to. Where even though I feel trapped at home where no one wants to hear my voice, thoughts, opinions, I can still go back to stories and dreams. Even if the dream is impossible. Breakaway.
THE RIGHT WAY TO THINK:
I was being selfish in this post- now I'm editing in (It's March now).
I can't assume they can read my mind. I need to be more considerate of them. God does not want me to think this way ^^. And this is not the way scripture says to think.
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