Monday, November 12, 2012

Nov. 12-Watching

Hold On

So I seem to keep getting reminded of this one lesson over and over again. Today, my best friend oh-so-kindly reminded me again. As much as her words stung... I appreciate it.
Today Sabbina came into the school bathroom and said to me that I need to be more careful. When something is bothering me, i'm upset, etc. I can't just lose my grip on everything. I'm super ashamed to even be typing this right now. Like it feels like any bit of pride I could possibly have is gone. Very humbling.

People are watching. I don't care who you are. Someone younger than you (possibly even older) is being lead by your example. I haven't been a good one. Living so selfishly in my own world so concerned with how certain people see me I can't even see those younger than me who think the world of me and I'm letting them down.

I'm ashamed. I begged God for forgiveness and I can only hope that those around me can forgive me... but I know that once a reputation is hurt.. It's hurt for good... and I regret it.

When I was 10 years old.. There was this one highschooler who did one nice thing for me.. and It meant EVERYTHING to me. Then she lost herself, and did some bad things. I remember being so disapointed.

I swore I'd never do that.

Thank you Sabbina, but I'm really disappointed in myself. This isn't me. Where did I lose myself?

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