6 Months

April 18^th, 2013

As I look back through old posts I realize how fast senior year has gone. So much happens everyday it’s hard to imagine that it’s going this fast. Tomorrow is my six month of not giving into my “pet” sins. Softball just ended this week and my moments of being #6, Sub, Outfielder, are now just memories. Next week is my senior trip. Before I know it, it will be over. Then all focus will be on our show of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis. Then the show will be over. Then all there is to look forward to is graduation. Before I can even breathe, eight years of being at one school will be apart of my past. It’s a lot to take in.

God has been constantly teaching me. I have a lot going on like chapel, drama, and band rehearsals. Trying to get good grades and the general student-like stuff, but that’s not all. I also have these life things I’m focusing on like reaching out to other people, keeping up a personal time with the Lord, and making sure my mindset is in the right place. God has been constantly humbling me and I am very grateful. I’m glad (despite my injury) that I got to do softball. It was something I had never done and it kept me humble. I had no idea what I was doing and everyone was better than me. There wasn’t any room for pride. All I could do was try to listen to my teammates and coach. I tried my best, but I know I wasn’t created very athletic. It’s alright though. At first I was really frustrated because I just wanted to be good at it, but that’s not what God made me for. Since I wasn’t much help to my team I decided to focus my energy on talking to my teammates. I tried my best to be encouraging and cheer on my team.

I’ve also been trying my best to reach out to as many people as I can. I’ve created a lot of new friends and overall I don’t have any problems with anyone. If anyone has a problem with me, they haven’t told me. I’m trying to live the way God says to in His word. However, if I try this on my own effort I know it’s impossible. Every time I start relying on myself everything falls apart. It’s amazing how my human sinful heart has the ability to destroy almost everything and everyone in my life in under one day. I need to be careful with this heart of mine. As long as I remember my God, I will be fine.

God has given me a new love for people I have never had before. I really truly care about people differently than I ever have. Even if I don’t know you very well, God’s love overtakes me. I don’t always show it, but I do care. I also have developed some strange sort of love for little kids. I use to never really feel all mushy over little children… maybe my maternal instincts are finally kicking in ;) .

I’ve also been looking through so many career options and there are so many things I want to do. Although, the only thing I’ve ever wanted to do (and have done) consistently is composing, singing, film, and acting. I love it so much and have had the desire since I was seven. I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of it. The only time I ever really gave up on it was when I was depressed and well that was just no fun. God is good though and brought me out of that. I’ve realized I’m almost ready to be done with high school. God is gracious and really does prepare your heart and mind to move on. I’m almost ready, not quite fully there yet. Soon I will be and everything is going to change.