2:31pm:
Everything changes today. Today... Stephanie and I are telling my parents the truth. My mom's been in tears the past two days because she has now realized that I don't talk to her. She says her heart it broken. She angry with me for doing this to her.. and she doesn't even know what it is yet. The meeting is today at 3:30. One hour left.... My heart rate is already raising. It's going to be the worst day of my life. I've broken my mom's heart... I've hurt her so bad... and my dad... and my sister....
So much hurt and pain today. The Lord has given me peace though. I trust you , God. My entire life is about to change drastically today. Stephanie says that because the truth is coming out I will be finally set free from all this. It's so hard to do... but I know this is what God wants me to do. Nothing will ever be the same.
I just have to let the Holy Spirit take full control of me today. Imagine.. if we were to let the Holy Spirit take full control all the time.. imagine what we could do? Yes... doing this is extremely terrifying.. but I'm letting go of myself.. and submitting to God.
God is making me new. Crossing out what I've down. Mercy comes and washes away what I've done.. I face the consequences today. I accept the blame. I'm a sinner and it has officially hurt all the people I care about most. I've hurt so many people.... but I've been forgiven... and my eternal forgiveness does not depend on the reaction of others.
Lord,
Help me through today. I need your strength. I praise your name for being with me. Thank you for bringing me through to today. I am so dependent on you. I am yours. Even though today is not fun, thank you for it. Thank you. All must work for good to me.
In your name,
Amen
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